The Beginning

You are a new assistant professor of chemistry at Discovery College. It is a class day, but you are tired. You need to go in to meet with the Dean, then teach classes. What do you do?
you decide: Blow off work. They don’t pay you enough. You deserve a day off. The students will enjoy a day off. You can meet with the Dean later.
you decide: You haven’t been sick for a while. Maybe you need a mental health day. You call the Dean’s secretary, to tell them you won’t be coming in, because you are sick.
you decide: As tempting as it is, you know it is better to get the meeting over, do your classes, and then you can come home early with a clear conscience.































The next morning you meet with the Dean. “I’m sorry, son, but we have a financial crisis at the College. We have to invoke the financial exigency clause of your contract. I was going to offer you a position as lab coordinator until we can expand the chemistry program again, but I really can’t justify that for you. You didn’t even bother to call in sick yesterday, and I just can’t have that. If enrollments come back up we’ll offer you your job back, but until then, you are terminal. We’ll pay you to teach classes the rest of the year, but we just can’t keep you on.

THE END































The next morning you meet with the Dean. “I’m sorry, son, but we have a financial crisis at the College. We have to invoke the financial exigency clause of your contract. We don’t have a teaching position for you next year. I can offer you a position as lab coordinator until we can expand the chemistry program again. I appreciate that we aren’t always healthy, but as a lab coordinator, I hope you understand you have to have your work done in advance. If you call in sick and your work isn’t done, there would be no labs, and I just can’t have that. If enrollments come back up we’ll offer you your job back, but until then, the best I can do is put you in as the lab coordinator and the Chemical Hygiene and Safety Officer. We’ll pay you to teach classes the rest of the year, but we just can’t keep you on as professor with the enrollments we have now.

THE END































You are driving down the highway, and you see a hitchhiker. You like to help people, and you have to drive anyway, but you are not sure about the safety of picking up a hitchhiker.
you decide: You pick up the hitchhiker.
you decide: You drive by the hitchhiker.































The hitchhiker pulls a knife on you as you are crossing the bridge. He demands you stop the car and hand over your wallet.
you decide: No punk with a knife is going to intimidate you. The police station is one mile away; you hit the gas, and the horn, you’ll take him in to be arrested.
you decide: There isn’t anything good in your wallet anyway. You stop the car and hand over the wallet.































Just over a mile down the road, you see a car stopped, with the hood up, and a frustrated looking young man sitting on the trunk.
you decide: You are a chemistry professor, not a mechanic. He probably has a cell phone. You drive on by.
you decide: You stop, and offer to call a tow truck on your cell phone. Your favorite gas station is one mile away, and you know they would come if you called.































The hitchhiker stabs you with the knife in the middle of the bridge. Unfortunately, the hitchhiker did not realize what happens if the driver looses control of a car on a bridge. The car crashed through the railing, and hit the water. Weak due to loss of blood, you do not make it to shore. Your body is never recovered. The hitchhiker makes it to shore, and then kills the woman who stopped to help the bedraggled refugee from the river, and steals her car.

THE END































With the car safely stopped, the hitchhiker makes you get out in the middle of the bridge. He knifes you, then throws your body off the bridge, and drives away with your car. Your body is never recovered. Your car is destroyed by the SWAT team when it is used as a getaway care during a bank robbery.

THE END































Shortly after the bridge, you see a car with a flat tire. A beautiful woman already has the jack out, and is struggling to get the spare out of the trunk.
you decide: You are a chemistry professor, not a mechanic. She has a jack and a spare tire. You drive on by.
you decide: You stop, and offer to call a tow truck on your cell phone. Your favorite gas station is one mile away, and you know they would come if you called.
you decide: You stop, get out, and help her change the tire.































“Thanks”, said the young man. “My cell phone is dead, and so is my car. But if your gas station has a loaner, I can get my business done.” You call the tow truck for him. He insists you go on, he can wait for the tow truck by himself.
[continue]































You arrive at work in time to get a good parking space. You are in a good mood until you meet with the Dean. “I’m sorry, son, but we have a financial crisis at the College. We have to invoke the financial exigency clause of your contract. We don’t have a teaching position for you next year. I can offer you a position as lab coordinator until we can expand the chemistry program again. If enrollments come back up we’ll offer you your job back, but until then, the best I can do is put you in as the lab coordinator and the Chemical Hygiene and Safety Officer. We’ll pay you to teach classes the rest of the year, but we just can’t keep you on as professor with the enrollments we have now. I’m really sorry.

THE END































She gives you a brilliant smile. “No thanks” she says. “I’ve got a spare. I have my cell phone, but I really don’t want to pay a tow truck when I can fix it myself.”
you decide: You wave, and go on.
you decide: You don’t want her to have to do that by herself. You help her with changing the tire.































With the two of you working, the tire is changed in no time flat. [Pun intended.] She thanks you for your Random Act of Kindness®, and hops in and drives away.
[continue]































Shortly after the bridge, you see a car with a flat tire. A beautiful woman already has the jack out, and is struggling to get the spare out of the trunk.
you decide: You are a chemistry professor, not a mechanic. She has a jack and a spare tire. You drive on by.
you decide: You stop, and offer to call a tow truck on your cell phone. Your favorite gas station is one mile away, and you know they would come if you called.
you decide: You stop, get out, and help her change the tire.































You arrive at work. The Dean looks happy. “I just got a call from an alum. He says a guy in a car with a Discovery College bumper sticker helped his son out this morning. He says the car was a beaten and dented old grey van. The alum is driving out to pick up his son at a gas station near your house. As long as he’s in the area, he’s going to stop by to tour the science building. If we play our cards right, he might even make a big enough donation that we don’t have to lay off a faculty member at the end of this year.” The Dean looks directly at you. “YOU drive a grey van, don’t you?” You nod. “You just got yourself a job as tour guide for a rich alum. I hope you understand how important it is that you be nice. I’m counting on you.” You spend the rest of the afternoon taking the alum and his son around campus. They promise to talk to the president about a donation. The Dean never mentions why he called you in for a meeting this morning. Life is good.

THE END































She gives you a brilliant smile. “No thanks” she says. “I’ve got a spare. I have my cell phone, but I really don’t want to pay a tow truck when I can fix it myself.”
you decide: You wave, and go on.
you decide: You don’t want her to have to do that by herself. You help her with changing the tire.































With the two of you working, the tire is changed in no time flat. [Pun intended.] She thanks you for your Random Act of Kindness®, and hops in and drives away.
[continue]































You arrive on campus a little late to get the best parking. As you get out of your car, you see the lady of the flat tire getting into her car. (How did she beat you there?)
you decide: You want to get that meeting with the Dean over with. Showing up early will look good. You go straight to the Dean’s office.
you decide: You greet her. The appointment isn’t for another 20 minutes anyway.































You are in a good mood until you meet with the Dean. “I’m sorry, son, but we have a financial crisis at the College. We have to invoke the financial exigency clause of your contract. We don’t have a teaching position for you next year. I can offer you a position as lab coordinator until we can expand the chemistry program again. If enrollments come back up we’ll offer you your job back, but until then, the best I can do is put you in as the lab coordinator and the Chemical Hygiene and Safety Officer. We’ll pay you to teach classes the rest of the year, but we just can’t keep you on as professor with the enrollments we have now. I’m really sorry.

THE END































The lady of the flat tire is very happy. She says she told the Dean all about her mysterious benefactor with the Discovery College bumper sticker. Sadly, she didn’t know your name, so the Dean does not know it was you.
[continue]































You arrive at work. You see the woman of the flat tire coming out of the Dean’s office. (You resolve to figure out how she beat you here. Is there a shortcut you missed?) When you approach the Dean’s office, she runs back in. As you enter, she is telling the Dean’s assistant about how you heroically risked your life, helping her change a tire on the side of the busy highway. (The Dean’s door is open. You hope he is listening.) Apparently the Dean’s assistant is her cousin. She is very happy that you ‘saved’ her cousin. You enter the inner office. The Dean looks very happy. “Good public relations never hurt. She may not be rich, but she has friends in a lot of places. Oh, and by the way, I just got a call from an alum. He says a guy in a car with a Discovery College bumper sticker helped his son out this morning. He says the car was a beaten and dented old grey van. The alum is driving out to pick up his son at a gas station near your house. As long as he’s in the area, he’s going to stop by to tour the science building. If we play our cards right, he might even make a big enough donation that we don’t have to lay off a faculty member at the end of this year.” The Dean looks directly at you. “YOU drive a grey van, don’t you?” You nod. “You just got yourself a job as tour guide for a rich alum. I hope you understand how important it is that you be nice. I’m counting on you.” You come back out. The Dean’s assistant is still talking to the flat tire lady, her cousin. Out the window, you see the young man you helped before, being dropped off by your favorite gas station mechanic.
you decide: You go out to greet the young man you helped before. You might as well get started with a campus tour.
you decide: You offer the lady of the flat tire a tour of campus. You can catch up with the young man later.
you decide: You invite the lady to join in the tour of the campus you will be giving the young man.































You are in a good mood until you meet with the Dean. “I’m sorry, son, but we have a financial crisis at the College. We have to invoke the financial exigency clause of your contract. We don’t have a teaching position for you next year. I can offer you a position as lab coordinator until we can expand the chemistry program again. If enrollments come back up we’ll offer you your job back, but until then, the best I can do is put you in as the lab coordinator and the Chemical Hygiene and Safety Officer. We’ll pay you to teach classes the rest of the year, but we just can’t keep you on as professor with the enrollments we have now. I’m really sorry.

THE END































You give a tour to the young man, and his father the alum joins you shortly. You find out much later the alum made a contribution to the science program in your honor. Life is good.

THE END































You enjoy giving the lady a tour, but unfortunately, you miss connections with the young man and his father. The Dean is unhappy that you missed the opportunity. He puts a letter of reprimand in your file, for not doing what he had asked you to do.

THE END































The young lady likes the idea of touring the campus where her favorite cousin works. The young man likes the idea of having a beautiful young lady along for his tour. By the time the alum joins his son, the two are paying more attention to each other than to their tour guide. The alum asks you a lot of questions about how things are going on campus. Fortunately, he understands about the way his son is ignoring him to chat with a pretty lady.
[continue]































You find out later the alum made a contribution to the science program in your honor. A year later you get invited to the wedding of the young man whose Dad is a rich alum, and the young woman whose cousin is the assistant to the Dean. You are the best man at the wedding. In honor of the happy couple, the rich alum endows a professorship in chemistry for the College. You get the position, which means higher pay, and more prestige. Life doesn’t get better than this.

THE END































































Story Junk: The lady of the flat tire is very happy. She says she told the Dean all about her mysterious benefactor with the Discovery College bumper sticker. Sadly, she didn’t know your name. As you chat, the young man with the broken car is dropped off by the owner of your favorite gas station. It turns out the young man’s Dad is an alum, and Dad talked the mechanic into dropping him off at the College. The Dean looks happy. “I just got a call from an alum. He says a guy in a car with a Discovery College bumper sticker helped his son out this morning. He says the car was a beaten and dented old grey van. The alum is driving out to pick up his son at a gas station near your house. As long as he’s in the area, he’s going to stop by to tour the science building. If we play our cards right, he might even make a big enough donation that we don’t have to lay off a faculty member at the end of this year.” The Dean looks directly at you. “YOU drive a grey van, don’t you?” You nod. “You just got yourself a job as tour guide for a rich alum. I hope you understand how important it is that you be nice. I’m counting on you.” You spend the rest of the afternoon taking the alum and his son around campus. They promise to talk to the president about a donation. The Dean never mentions why he called you in for a meeting this morning. Life is good.

THE END JUNK: Now I need you to figure out how we can adjust the budget. If we can consolidate enough classes, or get by without the lab coordinator position, maybe we can get by without doing any cuts of faculty this year. So I want you to look at the numbers, and see if you can come up with a plan.” Life is tough, but at least you have a chance to study the matter yourself, and make a recommendation. It is good to be consulted. It makes you feel valued, even though you suspect there will be no raises for next year.